Loving God equates to loving myself healtily and loving others passionately. I've made a discovery this morning that wat the Lord was doing in my life since the last weekend was actually an answer to my cry since the beginning of the year. I told the Lord that this year the thing I desire most is that I will learn to love Him, love myself and love others in a different way. Well... a whole bulk of the year has gone thinking that it should be on the list of my next new year resolution again... hmm...
Loving God means to be vulnerable to Him. When we come to the state of vulnerabilty, that is when the our heart is soft for Him to speak and to leave an eternal footprint. Eh... I am not so comfortable with this state of vulnerabilty after all.. It makes me very fearful of pain ... well that leads me to the next part - loving myself... The closeness and intimacy with God reveals much of my needs and my struggle with acceptance. Can I love myself enough to accept my need? Am I able to face my lack and inadequacies without dispising myself? That is art... acceptance is an art... it is from my point of view. I don't deny my struggles but I am not afraid to face them now... I need to move on... I need to be healed to move on... My latter journey won't allow me carry this baggage with me I suppose.... It a choice.... It's tough only if my flesh still fights for it's prominence. The power of surrender releases the strength...the strength to move on.... the strength to love others...
Lord, help me not to hold back this love You have showered upon my life... Let it flow to areas that are hurting in my heart so that out of my heart will release the ability to receive Love and to love others passionately....
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