Thursday, November 11, 2004

Tug of War

Deep in my soul
There's a tug of war
I struggle to know what life is for
I try so hrad to stay in control
To hold back the tears
And to not let go
I dun know why
I hang on so long
When I know the question
You were asking me
Will you worship
Will you bow down
Will you give me your heart and everything
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Lord, only You know the deepest struggles within. I need You more than anything else.... Going deep with You requires a greater degree of surrender. I need Your grace.... Guess I need to see things in a different light in order to enjoy more freedom cos no one who lives on this earth is free from pain and struggle. I can't say it's a struggle but I know God is doing a deep work in my life once again. I have always told the Lord that I want to love and to bring His love to people around me. I slowly begin to realise that love is not cheap. To love a person requires wholesomeness on our part. That's why the bible says that a wounded heart cannot reach God. Guess as a result of my prayer and desire, God has been healing me very deeply so that the well of His love will be full in my life that I can bring it to people. In the midst of the process, I may not have shown enough love to people as it can be draining to face your wounds. It zaps your strength to give love.
There was another breakthrough last friday during prayer meeting for me. Found back wat real passion means, get on with my prophetic intercessory gift, reaching out to the unreached.... It's real passion that is not contented with status quo but accompanying action. The Lord spoke to me about letting a shout of victory just like the Isrealites did after seven rounds of marching around Jericho wall. It's time to act!

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