All things that begin must ultimately meet its end. A new chapter emerges with new vision, new hope and fresh encounters. Paul says in Philippians " Forgetting wat lies behind, pressing in towards the upward call of God". The shaking engineered by the Lord has awaken me to my calling. What are the challenges leading us to? God works all things for the good of those who love Him. We have to truly embrace the perfect love and grace of God to be able to see that.
High time we move as a team to conquer the promise land. It's time to lay aside personal agendas to take on the high calling. Time to resolve disappointments and differences to be united with one spirit.
We will make it through!
Friday, May 27, 2005
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Release...
WOSH!!!! I'm been pretty stress up recently with work... Enjoying my stuffs and it's kind of challenging. A total change of lifestyle and environment. I'm learning to adapt in the adult world to understand their thinking and to work with them. The most demanding part would probably be this rather than my job scope. Things are just different! Adults aint nice to play with when it comes to work.
The Lord has been doing some things in my little closet recently. Thank God that He is always mindful of us even when we seemingly have failed in our own eyes. I've dare to be transparent with Him regarding some issues and open up to people to talk about it. Finally, I felt that my cry is heard. Someone has paid precise attention after so long. I made myself very clear once and for all. I felt understood for once. I'm not given something that I've not asked for and being continually deprived of what I really need. The process of opening up hurts. It's like revisiting your unhealed wound and realise how much pain it can still bring you after so long. Well, I can be very open when people do give me time to express. Some deeper issues need time to be put in words right???
Deeper issues in life evolved mostly with people. Not doing anything is often doing something unproductive to a relationship. I'm not non-chalent about things but when it comes to this area, I'm probably more cautious than any other stuffs. If I have taken a first step without a recipocrated response from the other party, I'll probably just wait. For all I know, if I dun feel safe to to take another step further, I would never do so. So the question comes to me... Am I having a non-verbal expectation on the person? The Lord has to help me to deal with my fear and pride. Things still has to be confronted somehow.
The Lord has been doing some things in my little closet recently. Thank God that He is always mindful of us even when we seemingly have failed in our own eyes. I've dare to be transparent with Him regarding some issues and open up to people to talk about it. Finally, I felt that my cry is heard. Someone has paid precise attention after so long. I made myself very clear once and for all. I felt understood for once. I'm not given something that I've not asked for and being continually deprived of what I really need. The process of opening up hurts. It's like revisiting your unhealed wound and realise how much pain it can still bring you after so long. Well, I can be very open when people do give me time to express. Some deeper issues need time to be put in words right???
Deeper issues in life evolved mostly with people. Not doing anything is often doing something unproductive to a relationship. I'm not non-chalent about things but when it comes to this area, I'm probably more cautious than any other stuffs. If I have taken a first step without a recipocrated response from the other party, I'll probably just wait. For all I know, if I dun feel safe to to take another step further, I would never do so. So the question comes to me... Am I having a non-verbal expectation on the person? The Lord has to help me to deal with my fear and pride. Things still has to be confronted somehow.
Friday, May 13, 2005
Kaijun's birthday
This is a memorial photo of Tan Kaijun's 22nd birthday! While pacing to and fro for a good place to eat that day, we chance upon Ren Thai!!! Food there was superb and everyone enjoyed it.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
stepping alone
Finally, I brace up my courage to confront lonliness, a seemingly triumphant enemy in my life for a while. Really thank God for speaking the past two weeks. Lonliness is the place where we can be left to be with God undistracted by things around us and to be intimate with Him. God's not on holiday afterall. In fact, He never take breaks from our lives. What a comfort to know that! However, the buzzling activities of life has robbed our abililty to appreciate stillness or waiting as a way of gaining strength. Tranquility is not longer a desired state of life to many. How the Lord has brought me to this place once again to enjoy a 'walk' with Him.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Update
Seems I've lost the thrill of blogging recently... Anyway, to the fans of my blog, I will try my utmost best to keep it as updated as possible. Prayerfully, my entries will be able to minister to those out there. i am looking for interesting stuff to post it here... well... let's see.
As I mention in my previous entry, being with my members really rejuvenates strength and give a greater punch to keep the momentum going. Just came back from cell group. see God's goodness in the things He has done in this group. The improved relationships and the growing desire for Him has made the group much livelier. Felt that there is much more I can give to see greater growth.
Gonna be the end of the month soon... Time flies. A quarter of the year has gone by.
As I mention in my previous entry, being with my members really rejuvenates strength and give a greater punch to keep the momentum going. Just came back from cell group. see God's goodness in the things He has done in this group. The improved relationships and the growing desire for Him has made the group much livelier. Felt that there is much more I can give to see greater growth.
Gonna be the end of the month soon... Time flies. A quarter of the year has gone by.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Blues
Been kind of experiencing blues lately.. feeling kinda uneasy about somethings which I would not mention. Probably it's the transition that is tiring me out and causing me to rediscover things that I would rather not face. I've been having dreams actively for the past three weeks... it's driving me nuts cos I need rest... and proper ones. Yep.. I am a dreamer but not one who wish to be disturbed in her sleep practically every night. Since I am almost settled down in my work place, this bothersome syndrome should go off soon assuming that it is a by-product of growing into a new phrase of life.
Lady.....
Growing manifestations of the little child.. out of the facade of independence... learning to adapt to her natural habitat of interdepencency with the species of her kind. Sometimes she would wonder if she has lost the power over herself and given over to her natural appetite. Fearless abandon of herself to the greater Him. Surrender and not withdrawal. Her cries are made known to Him. Her desires are crafted to fit into His. Signs of discomfort. Tears of unspoken lonliness.
Well.... it's not meant to be so blue.. haha. Bright cheery yellow to continue on... I have a good time with my cell members the last two days... Being with them rejuvenates strength and passion. They reminds myself of the greater plan He has for me in the mist of wriggling through the unpleasant procedures of His shaping. That's the main thing that makes my week so far.
Getting used to the working environment.. that makes navigation in the office much easier for me. Things are picking up its pace, though still not very fast but it gives ample time to learn and to ask as many questions as I can.
Lady.....
Growing manifestations of the little child.. out of the facade of independence... learning to adapt to her natural habitat of interdepencency with the species of her kind. Sometimes she would wonder if she has lost the power over herself and given over to her natural appetite. Fearless abandon of herself to the greater Him. Surrender and not withdrawal. Her cries are made known to Him. Her desires are crafted to fit into His. Signs of discomfort. Tears of unspoken lonliness.
Well.... it's not meant to be so blue.. haha. Bright cheery yellow to continue on... I have a good time with my cell members the last two days... Being with them rejuvenates strength and passion. They reminds myself of the greater plan He has for me in the mist of wriggling through the unpleasant procedures of His shaping. That's the main thing that makes my week so far.
Getting used to the working environment.. that makes navigation in the office much easier for me. Things are picking up its pace, though still not very fast but it gives ample time to learn and to ask as many questions as I can.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Laying down Issac
Laying down Issac... that's what I've decided to do! The Lord spoke to me about my Issac. Well.. it's been a struggle to place him on the alter but somehow since last week when the Lord tugged at my heart that particular area of my life, I've began to find strength to surrender. Hmm.. Pastor Foo mention that when we lay down one Issac, there will be many Issacs God will bring into our lives. I was ministered by that cos God was just pointing His finger at that Issac. I've got to let go cos that thing or person belongs to God.
Been enjoying work.. just that pace is a bit slow at this moment for the start. Adjusting to the new lifestyle and changes... Haha.. I am beginning to talk in the office... out of my hole of deprivation!!!! Getting more comfortable with the guys in the office and really thank God for each one of them... They have really been taking good care of me on the accord that I am the youngest and new to the company. I've started tagging along with Daniel for appointments this week. He's been teaching me a lot of things and it's pretty fun working together with him. Was just asking him if I could do something more exciting next week... Well, it's great having to be able to look forward to work! It's a blessing from the Lord. I've got to realise and fulfil God's mission for me in this job. Shujun and myself was just saying that she's gonna impact the doctors and I will do likewise with the designers!
Been enjoying work.. just that pace is a bit slow at this moment for the start. Adjusting to the new lifestyle and changes... Haha.. I am beginning to talk in the office... out of my hole of deprivation!!!! Getting more comfortable with the guys in the office and really thank God for each one of them... They have really been taking good care of me on the accord that I am the youngest and new to the company. I've started tagging along with Daniel for appointments this week. He's been teaching me a lot of things and it's pretty fun working together with him. Was just asking him if I could do something more exciting next week... Well, it's great having to be able to look forward to work! It's a blessing from the Lord. I've got to realise and fulfil God's mission for me in this job. Shujun and myself was just saying that she's gonna impact the doctors and I will do likewise with the designers!
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Back
Breaking the silence.... I am back. It's a good thing that I really don't have much time to blog these days cos it shows that I am not bored! Some people will be happy to hear this as they won't be constantly bugged by phone calls from me.. haha...
Really thank God for work. This week is more of like an orientation... lotsa things to familarize myself with and to read up. Above all, still adapting to new relationships in the office. God is really faithful. I couldn't believe that all the job specification that I laid before Him has been answered. hmmm.... my silent whispers to Him and my desires... He know it all. For some of you who will know my struggle ever since after my JC, probably you could understand the extent of my gratitude to the Lord. It really takes God to bring us through a season of His moulding to develop character and to deepen our walk with Him. It's been a long time I felt so sure of where I am. You just know it when you hit the right place the right time and the right passion with the Lord. Like I mention earlier on... I am entering into a new season... A chapter has closed and the Lord is starting a new one now... He is probabaly working on another knot in my life.. haha
Well... I like wat I am doing now... Realise that I have a strong interest in art and design... It's a place where I can truly develop my creative wing. People there are nice chaps just that designers can be quite weird at time... and there are sooooo many design books to read! The only person that is more normal is Daniel whom I am working together with... Talking about designers, they are just different from the less right-brain pp around... They are a perculiar lot who perpetually lost their sense of direction besides having lost in their own world often and have a lesser interest in keeping time. They can be quite boring people at times... Maybe this explains why most of them either marry late or dun get married at all.. haha...That is probably wat makes them stand out! Maybe someday I will marry one! but... I can't stand bordeom... -_-
Really thank God for work. This week is more of like an orientation... lotsa things to familarize myself with and to read up. Above all, still adapting to new relationships in the office. God is really faithful. I couldn't believe that all the job specification that I laid before Him has been answered. hmmm.... my silent whispers to Him and my desires... He know it all. For some of you who will know my struggle ever since after my JC, probably you could understand the extent of my gratitude to the Lord. It really takes God to bring us through a season of His moulding to develop character and to deepen our walk with Him. It's been a long time I felt so sure of where I am. You just know it when you hit the right place the right time and the right passion with the Lord. Like I mention earlier on... I am entering into a new season... A chapter has closed and the Lord is starting a new one now... He is probabaly working on another knot in my life.. haha
Well... I like wat I am doing now... Realise that I have a strong interest in art and design... It's a place where I can truly develop my creative wing. People there are nice chaps just that designers can be quite weird at time... and there are sooooo many design books to read! The only person that is more normal is Daniel whom I am working together with... Talking about designers, they are just different from the less right-brain pp around... They are a perculiar lot who perpetually lost their sense of direction besides having lost in their own world often and have a lesser interest in keeping time. They can be quite boring people at times... Maybe this explains why most of them either marry late or dun get married at all.. haha...That is probably wat makes them stand out! Maybe someday I will marry one! but... I can't stand bordeom... -_-
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Into a new realm!
Stepping into a new realm of challenge! Work was good. I had lots of reading to do the past two days in the office... stuffs like company's profile, studio operation processes and notes on newsletters etc... but I am happy about it. I am doing something that I am passionate about. Felt such a surge of energy and passion in what I am doing. It's a very challenging environment to work in.
The first day of work was a bit intimidating for me as I am new to my working environment. I have to watch and observe the company culture and adapt to it. They are all a bunch of young people in the late twenties to thirties... so obviously I am the youngest. Things are getting better today... felt less tense up.
Just some thoughts about designers... seems that designers are fond of losing track of time. They have a tendency to be late! Well... most of my designer friends are like that.. The past two days, being new to the company and trying to play hard at keeping rules, I arrived at my work place punctually as I was told. In fact, both days I was earlier than required. Something not so usual. But guess wat? I was lock out of office cos the designers were all late, including my manager. They are not like five or ten min late that kind of thing but half an hour or more!!! Of course, they will at least be one who will arrive a bit earlier than the others. We'll see how things go.... but they do work till very late... another thing about them is that they often seem to be in a world of their own.... to add on, they have their perculiar style. Their hairstyle could distinctively tell you their profession... That's just my thoughts k... though it does carry some truth in it..
The first day of work was a bit intimidating for me as I am new to my working environment. I have to watch and observe the company culture and adapt to it. They are all a bunch of young people in the late twenties to thirties... so obviously I am the youngest. Things are getting better today... felt less tense up.
Just some thoughts about designers... seems that designers are fond of losing track of time. They have a tendency to be late! Well... most of my designer friends are like that.. The past two days, being new to the company and trying to play hard at keeping rules, I arrived at my work place punctually as I was told. In fact, both days I was earlier than required. Something not so usual. But guess wat? I was lock out of office cos the designers were all late, including my manager. They are not like five or ten min late that kind of thing but half an hour or more!!! Of course, they will at least be one who will arrive a bit earlier than the others. We'll see how things go.... but they do work till very late... another thing about them is that they often seem to be in a world of their own.... to add on, they have their perculiar style. Their hairstyle could distinctively tell you their profession... That's just my thoughts k... though it does carry some truth in it..
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Change
That was the topic of today's sermon. Ps Suzanne preached on change. Going through changes... some things will not be the same anymore.. learning to grasp with the art of adulthood. Really felt very assured by the Lord with regards to the job that I am starting this coming Monday. It's like you know it and that's it. I'm excited and looking forward to it.
Changes does bring fear as you don't know wat the end product of the process will be exactly. It takes faith to step out and explore the possibilities. Wat would it be three to five years down the road? I see the changes taking place determining wat things will be the next few years of my life. Wat would relationships be like then? Friendships? Calling of God? Life partner? It's kind of adventurous.. =)
Changes does bring fear as you don't know wat the end product of the process will be exactly. It takes faith to step out and explore the possibilities. Wat would it be three to five years down the road? I see the changes taking place determining wat things will be the next few years of my life. Wat would relationships be like then? Friendships? Calling of God? Life partner? It's kind of adventurous.. =)
Friday, April 01, 2005
Thoughts!
Blogging has gradually become my favourite past time since I started "work" last week. The usual thing today is that I am still bored. The only difference today as compared to the rest of the days is that there is pracitically NO WORK TO DO today. At least I get to work for an hour yesterday. I wonder if anyone can feel my frustration out there. Well, I made use of my time to talk to my members on the phone, check email and entertain Sham who was just as bored as me. I wonder how he has been surviving all these while in the office ALONE!
Just wondering how work will be like at my new work place next week. I will be working very near Shujun... hee.. lunchie partner in time to come. When I told Adrian on Tuesday how glad I was to get the job, his first reaction was..well... almost 40% of my joy attributes to the fact that I am near the shopping paradise in Singapore. Well.. that is just a minor percentage though... The fact of the matter is that God answers my prayer to wat I am looking for as a career. I love window shopping.. that's a good way to de-stres myself. I have not really been shopping since Chinese New Year cos I am moving into the economical stream more and more.. haha...so window shop would be fine.. Gonna spend my first pay meaningfully to bless those dear to my heart...yep especially my parents. Eh... I hear someone snoring.. Sham is sleeping!!! O man!!!
Just can't wait for Monday to start work..
By the way, Indonesia was hit by a major earthquake on Monday. It was Monday night while I was napping before I resume my marathon to finish my project presentation that the Lord impressed upon my heart that I need to pray. Following that, the next day, news of the quake came about. Similar urges from the Lord has happen during major world events like the 911 incident where I had dreams and felt that I need to pray after that. This time I felt it was an alert from the Lord to arise to my calling to pray.
Lord, I want to be found among those who have been found faithful to pray and to speak to the nations!
"I searched for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand in the gap before Me for the land, so that I would not destroy it; but I found no one." Ezekiel 22:30
Just wondering how work will be like at my new work place next week. I will be working very near Shujun... hee.. lunchie partner in time to come. When I told Adrian on Tuesday how glad I was to get the job, his first reaction was..well... almost 40% of my joy attributes to the fact that I am near the shopping paradise in Singapore. Well.. that is just a minor percentage though... The fact of the matter is that God answers my prayer to wat I am looking for as a career. I love window shopping.. that's a good way to de-stres myself. I have not really been shopping since Chinese New Year cos I am moving into the economical stream more and more.. haha...so window shop would be fine.. Gonna spend my first pay meaningfully to bless those dear to my heart...yep especially my parents. Eh... I hear someone snoring.. Sham is sleeping!!! O man!!!
Just can't wait for Monday to start work..
By the way, Indonesia was hit by a major earthquake on Monday. It was Monday night while I was napping before I resume my marathon to finish my project presentation that the Lord impressed upon my heart that I need to pray. Following that, the next day, news of the quake came about. Similar urges from the Lord has happen during major world events like the 911 incident where I had dreams and felt that I need to pray after that. This time I felt it was an alert from the Lord to arise to my calling to pray.
Lord, I want to be found among those who have been found faithful to pray and to speak to the nations!
"I searched for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand in the gap before Me for the land, so that I would not destroy it; but I found no one." Ezekiel 22:30
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Found!
Hey... went for the interview at the design firm yesterday and I got the job!!! Really thank God for this open door. I laid before the Lord the choices between the job at the design firm and the current one at the events company and told Him that if He wants me to stay where I am, then close the door to the one at the design firm. I was quite amaze that the manager make the swift decision after talking to me and reviewing my portfolio cos I was told by Daniel that the selection was "stringent". That's besides the point.... I am glad that I got the job appointment. My office will be at CHINATOWN! What a wonderful place to have your office location! Most importantly, I won't have to face irregular work hours on weekends and a non-challenging working life. I will be starting work on Monday, the first week of April. Just see God's faithfulness and favour in my job hunt. All the criteria and time frame I set before Him has been met. God is good!
Work as usual today is BORING!!!!! I was playing games during working hours with Sham cos there was literally nothing to do. I am sick of this kind of working environment!
Work as usual today is BORING!!!!! I was playing games during working hours with Sham cos there was literally nothing to do. I am sick of this kind of working environment!
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Right Job?!
Results seems accurate...
Strategic and Creative
As a Strategic type, you want to be able to express yourself and your ideas through work. Sure there's a time and place for rules and procedures, but when a good thought strikes you, you don't want it to be boxed into one way of thinking. You're willing to go outside the rules if there's a chance that the risk will reap big rewards.
You are stronger than most when it comes to generating ideas. And because of this, it might sometimes feel easier to take on all aspects of a job yourself instead of wasting time explaining it to someone else who might not "get it" like you do. But because you have so many ideas and are willing to take on so much, you might find that you sometimes have trouble finishing every project you start.
Your diplomacy and adaptability make you a valuable asset. But your need to feel invested in a company that allows you to express your original ways of thinking will ultimately impact how happy you are in the workplace.
Dreamer says...
The Lord ministers His strength to me on sunday during evening service. He stirs the troubled waters within me that I was fearful to face. Couldn't explain how it was having to confront your "Goliath" alone.... seems to be an unquenchable thirst for emotional strength. Pastor prayed for me and the Lord used him to speak to me. While I felt that I am not good enough for Him, He assures me that He accepts me for who I am and that He sees the sincerity of the heart. People will watch my life as I walk with Him and He is raising me up. Like I mention about the quest for His approval, there was a yearning to be accepted by Him.
Really feel like a small girl... well, for that I mean the innocence of the young. No more the complications from voice of the world. Rather, it's a deliberate choice of simplicity over complexity. The thought of drawing near to the father's love warms one's heart. I'm learning to appreciate His love and grace more and treasures relationships more. As the Lord adds value to my life, there is a growing desire to do the same to others around me.
It's a new season of walk with Him. Discovering the true value of who I am, wat relationships meant, the meaning and purpose of His call. I've learnt this.... the true value and beauty of a woman lies in knowing wat pleases her maker and living it out!
Really feel like a small girl... well, for that I mean the innocence of the young. No more the complications from voice of the world. Rather, it's a deliberate choice of simplicity over complexity. The thought of drawing near to the father's love warms one's heart. I'm learning to appreciate His love and grace more and treasures relationships more. As the Lord adds value to my life, there is a growing desire to do the same to others around me.
It's a new season of walk with Him. Discovering the true value of who I am, wat relationships meant, the meaning and purpose of His call. I've learnt this.... the true value and beauty of a woman lies in knowing wat pleases her maker and living it out!
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Friday, March 25, 2005
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