.::dreamer dream dreams::.

The New Exposure @ Sentosa

2005-07-21T01:06:00.000+08:00

Awesome!!! We had our post rally event last saturday 16 July at an incredible place - Sentosa. I would say that it's an enjoyable one. Most of us, if not all, has lotsa fun. We have friends who joined us for the first time and others who came back after the youth rally. It was a time of getting to know each other better and bond building. Some photo treats for that day!!!

2005-07-21T00:49:00.000+08:00

The East- zonites

2005-07-21T00:47:00.000+08:00

Erm... can't make up what's the sand castle... well, that doesn't matter rite?

2005-07-21T00:46:00.003+08:00

Tribal sand castle

2005-07-21T00:46:00.002+08:00

Depicting the promises of God.. Going forth to the ends of the earth!!!

2005-07-21T00:46:00.001+08:00

Post-modern sand castle theory..

2005-07-21T00:46:00.000+08:00

What's up there?!

2005-07-21T00:45:00.001+08:00

Behind a "tree"

2005-07-21T00:45:00.000+08:00

Our co-ordinator of the day. Dun play play with him k...

2005-07-21T00:44:00.000+08:00

The "Blow wind blow" craze...

2005-06-12T23:20:00.000+08:00

A fond farewell to kaijun and ben last sun before they enter into their phrase of manhood.

2005-06-12T23:07:00.000+08:00

It's simply craziness and losing of urself! Well... guys, you know what I mean. We did have a good time at the gaming cafe.

2005-06-12T23:06:00.000+08:00

Failed advertising campaign for pepsi. Good try!

Welcome

2005-06-12T22:56:00.000+08:00

Welcome to this world, Ryan! Let me introduce... this is my baby cousin. He's just begin his journey of new life three weeks back and this was taken upon his arrival. Peacefully asleep.

Sometimes a glance at newborns simply wow us at how marvellous is the work of God's hand. Like what the psalmist says, the Lord forms us while we are in our mother's womb. we are not evolved from some ape and there we are on earth. Each part of us is carefully kneaded by the Lord, every detail of us is given full attention with love.

Up and going

2005-06-11T08:46:00.000+08:00

Almost did something irrational three weeks back. Thank God for His grace and the people He sent along the way to be there with me. Losing the momentum to move on, disappointed and hopeless. Can you imagine how a soldier feel when he has to face consistent defeats in the battle field and the aftermath of each battle lies wounded soldiers, rubble....? To every soldier, victory is the focal point. The moment you are on field, there is only one goal - to win the war.

The Lord reminded me a vision He gave me two years back. It was a chaotic scene of an aftermath of a war. Seemingly, it's been a feriousious one. Back then, I was probably puzzled what was the Lord implying. However, there is light to what He is wanting to tell us. The victory is sure. The Lord will restored back the army who will fight courageously. I felt the awakening of the Lord to put on my prayer gear. Now is the time!

I will be having another partner in the battlefield soon. He is a sure fighter. Really thank God for him and he is one of those who really lends a listening ear when I need to let out.

Gonna move on as a team and stop allowing the devil to molest us spiritually. The army of God will prevail!

Sentosa

2005-06-04T01:28:00.000+08:00

Our leaders outing at Sentosa... The photos came a bit late cos I din have time to upload them to my computer. These are just a showcase of a few of those capturing moments of that day. The rest of it will be posted on my imagestation soon.

Really been busy and stressed up lately with work. It a whole world of difference between working and studying. Thank God that Jess, my boss, is not as demanding as any other bosses. At least she still gives me grace and allow time for me to pick up the ropes. Well, somehow... you still ave to show something on your report card. I believe if the Lord has open a door to this job, He will lead me through.

@ Siloso Beach... can you spot us?

2005-06-04T01:07:00.000+08:00

Beach volleyball under the HOT sun.

2005-06-04T01:05:00.000+08:00

Group photo

2005-06-04T01:04:00.000+08:00

shuch and shushu

2005-06-04T01:02:00.000+08:00

A glimpse of His promises to remind us that He is faithful.....

A New Chapter

2005-05-27T07:32:00.000+08:00

All things that begin must ultimately meet its end. A new chapter emerges with new vision, new hope and fresh encounters. Paul says in Philippians " Forgetting wat lies behind, pressing in towards the upward call of God". The shaking engineered by the Lord has awaken me to my calling. What are the challenges leading us to? God works all things for the good of those who love Him. We have to truly embrace the perfect love and grace of God to be able to see that.

High time we move as a team to conquer the promise land. It's time to lay aside personal agendas to take on the high calling. Time to resolve disappointments and differences to be united with one spirit.

We will make it through!

Release...

2005-05-15T23:46:00.000+08:00

WOSH!!!! I'm been pretty stress up recently with work... Enjoying my stuffs and it's kind of challenging. A total change of lifestyle and environment. I'm learning to adapt in the adult world to understand their thinking and to work with them. The most demanding part would probably be this rather than my job scope. Things are just different! Adults aint nice to play with when it comes to work.

The Lord has been doing some things in my little closet recently. Thank God that He is always mindful of us even when we seemingly have failed in our own eyes. I've dare to be transparent with Him regarding some issues and open up to people to talk about it. Finally, I felt that my cry is heard. Someone has paid precise attention after so long. I made myself very clear once and for all. I felt understood for once. I'm not given something that I've not asked for and being continually deprived of what I really need. The process of opening up hurts. It's like revisiting your unhealed wound and realise how much pain it can still bring you after so long. Well, I can be very open when people do give me time to express. Some deeper issues need time to be put in words right???

Deeper issues in life evolved mostly with people. Not doing anything is often doing something unproductive to a relationship. I'm not non-chalent about things but when it comes to this area, I'm probably more cautious than any other stuffs. If I have taken a first step without a recipocrated response from the other party, I'll probably just wait. For all I know, if I dun feel safe to to take another step further, I would never do so. So the question comes to me... Am I having a non-verbal expectation on the person? The Lord has to help me to deal with my fear and pride. Things still has to be confronted somehow.

Kaijun's birthday

2005-05-13T07:36:00.000+08:00

This is a memorial photo of Tan Kaijun's 22nd birthday! While pacing to and fro for a good place to eat that day, we chance upon Ren Thai!!! Food there was superb and everyone enjoyed it.

2005-05-13T07:35:00.000+08:00

The oldies in the youth ministry!!! haha

2005-05-13T07:33:00.000+08:00

@ Ren thai... Deeze, Chowz and wosh

stepping alone

2005-05-10T00:39:00.000+08:00

Finally, I brace up my courage to confront lonliness, a seemingly triumphant enemy in my life for a while. Really thank God for speaking the past two weeks. Lonliness is the place where we can be left to be with God undistracted by things around us and to be intimate with Him. God's not on holiday afterall. In fact, He never take breaks from our lives. What a comfort to know that! However, the buzzling activities of life has robbed our abililty to appreciate stillness or waiting as a way of gaining strength. Tranquility is not longer a desired state of life to many. How the Lord has brought me to this place once again to enjoy a 'walk' with Him.

Update

2005-04-28T14:31:00.000+08:00

Seems I've lost the thrill of blogging recently... Anyway, to the fans of my blog, I will try my utmost best to keep it as updated as possible. Prayerfully, my entries will be able to minister to those out there. i am looking for interesting stuff to post it here... well... let's see.

As I mention in my previous entry, being with my members really rejuvenates strength and give a greater punch to keep the momentum going. Just came back from cell group. see God's goodness in the things He has done in this group. The improved relationships and the growing desire for Him has made the group much livelier. Felt that there is much more I can give to see greater growth.

Gonna be the end of the month soon... Time flies. A quarter of the year has gone by.

Blues

2005-04-21T11:50:00.000+08:00

Been kind of experiencing blues lately.. feeling kinda uneasy about somethings which I would not mention. Probably it's the transition that is tiring me out and causing me to rediscover things that I would rather not face. I've been having dreams actively for the past three weeks... it's driving me nuts cos I need rest... and proper ones. Yep.. I am a dreamer but not one who wish to be disturbed in her sleep practically every night. Since I am almost settled down in my work place, this bothersome syndrome should go off soon assuming that it is a by-product of growing into a new phrase of life.

Lady.....
Growing manifestations of the little child.. out of the facade of independence... learning to adapt to her natural habitat of interdepencency with the species of her kind. Sometimes she would wonder if she has lost the power over herself and given over to her natural appetite. Fearless abandon of herself to the greater Him. Surrender and not withdrawal. Her cries are made known to Him. Her desires are crafted to fit into His. Signs of discomfort. Tears of unspoken lonliness.

Well.... it's not meant to be so blue.. haha. Bright cheery yellow to continue on... I have a good time with my cell members the last two days... Being with them rejuvenates strength and passion. They reminds myself of the greater plan He has for me in the mist of wriggling through the unpleasant procedures of His shaping. That's the main thing that makes my week so far.

Getting used to the working environment.. that makes navigation in the office much easier for me. Things are picking up its pace, though still not very fast but it gives ample time to learn and to ask as many questions as I can.

Laying down Issac

2005-04-16T21:53:00.000+08:00

Laying down Issac... that's what I've decided to do! The Lord spoke to me about my Issac. Well.. it's been a struggle to place him on the alter but somehow since last week when the Lord tugged at my heart that particular area of my life, I've began to find strength to surrender. Hmm.. Pastor Foo mention that when we lay down one Issac, there will be many Issacs God will bring into our lives. I was ministered by that cos God was just pointing His finger at that Issac. I've got to let go cos that thing or person belongs to God.

Been enjoying work.. just that pace is a bit slow at this moment for the start. Adjusting to the new lifestyle and changes... Haha.. I am beginning to talk in the office... out of my hole of deprivation!!!! Getting more comfortable with the guys in the office and really thank God for each one of them... They have really been taking good care of me on the accord that I am the youngest and new to the company. I've started tagging along with Daniel for appointments this week. He's been teaching me a lot of things and it's pretty fun working together with him. Was just asking him if I could do something more exciting next week... Well, it's great having to be able to look forward to work! It's a blessing from the Lord. I've got to realise and fulfil God's mission for me in this job. Shujun and myself was just saying that she's gonna impact the doctors and I will do likewise with the designers!

Back

2005-04-10T07:45:00.000+08:00

Breaking the silence.... I am back. It's a good thing that I really don't have much time to blog these days cos it shows that I am not bored! Some people will be happy to hear this as they won't be constantly bugged by phone calls from me.. haha...

Really thank God for work. This week is more of like an orientation... lotsa things to familarize myself with and to read up. Above all, still adapting to new relationships in the office. God is really faithful. I couldn't believe that all the job specification that I laid before Him has been answered. hmmm.... my silent whispers to Him and my desires... He know it all. For some of you who will know my struggle ever since after my JC, probably you could understand the extent of my gratitude to the Lord. It really takes God to bring us through a season of His moulding to develop character and to deepen our walk with Him. It's been a long time I felt so sure of where I am. You just know it when you hit the right place the right time and the right passion with the Lord. Like I mention earlier on... I am entering into a new season... A chapter has closed and the Lord is starting a new one now... He is probabaly working on another knot in my life.. haha

Well... I like wat I am doing now... Realise that I have a strong interest in art and design... It's a place where I can truly develop my creative wing. People there are nice chaps just that designers can be quite weird at time... and there are sooooo many design books to read! The only person that is more normal is Daniel whom I am working together with... Talking about designers, they are just different from the less right-brain pp around... They are a perculiar lot who perpetually lost their sense of direction besides having lost in their own world often and have a lesser interest in keeping time. They can be quite boring people at times... Maybe this explains why most of them either marry late or dun get married at all.. haha...That is probably wat makes them stand out! Maybe someday I will marry one! but... I can't stand bordeom... -_-

Into a new realm!

2005-04-05T23:56:00.000+08:00

Stepping into a new realm of challenge! Work was good. I had lots of reading to do the past two days in the office... stuffs like company's profile, studio operation processes and notes on newsletters etc... but I am happy about it. I am doing something that I am passionate about. Felt such a surge of energy and passion in what I am doing. It's a very challenging environment to work in.

The first day of work was a bit intimidating for me as I am new to my working environment. I have to watch and observe the company culture and adapt to it. They are all a bunch of young people in the late twenties to thirties... so obviously I am the youngest. Things are getting better today... felt less tense up.

Just some thoughts about designers... seems that designers are fond of losing track of time. They have a tendency to be late! Well... most of my designer friends are like that.. The past two days, being new to the company and trying to play hard at keeping rules, I arrived at my work place punctually as I was told. In fact, both days I was earlier than required. Something not so usual. But guess wat? I was lock out of office cos the designers were all late, including my manager. They are not like five or ten min late that kind of thing but half an hour or more!!! Of course, they will at least be one who will arrive a bit earlier than the others. We'll see how things go.... but they do work till very late... another thing about them is that they often seem to be in a world of their own.... to add on, they have their perculiar style. Their hairstyle could distinctively tell you their profession... That's just my thoughts k... though it does carry some truth in it..

Change

2005-04-02T20:57:00.000+08:00

That was the topic of today's sermon. Ps Suzanne preached on change. Going through changes... some things will not be the same anymore.. learning to grasp with the art of adulthood. Really felt very assured by the Lord with regards to the job that I am starting this coming Monday. It's like you know it and that's it. I'm excited and looking forward to it.

Changes does bring fear as you don't know wat the end product of the process will be exactly. It takes faith to step out and explore the possibilities. Wat would it be three to five years down the road? I see the changes taking place determining wat things will be the next few years of my life. Wat would relationships be like then? Friendships? Calling of God? Life partner? It's kind of adventurous.. =)

Thoughts!

2005-04-01T15:35:00.000+08:00

Blogging has gradually become my favourite past time since I started "work" last week. The usual thing today is that I am still bored. The only difference today as compared to the rest of the days is that there is pracitically NO WORK TO DO today. At least I get to work for an hour yesterday. I wonder if anyone can feel my frustration out there. Well, I made use of my time to talk to my members on the phone, check email and entertain Sham who was just as bored as me. I wonder how he has been surviving all these while in the office ALONE!

Just wondering how work will be like at my new work place next week. I will be working very near Shujun... hee.. lunchie partner in time to come. When I told Adrian on Tuesday how glad I was to get the job, his first reaction was..well... almost 40% of my joy attributes to the fact that I am near the shopping paradise in Singapore. Well.. that is just a minor percentage though... The fact of the matter is that God answers my prayer to wat I am looking for as a career. I love window shopping.. that's a good way to de-stres myself. I have not really been shopping since Chinese New Year cos I am moving into the economical stream more and more.. haha...so window shop would be fine.. Gonna spend my first pay meaningfully to bless those dear to my heart...yep especially my parents. Eh... I hear someone snoring.. Sham is sleeping!!! O man!!!

Just can't wait for Monday to start work..

By the way, Indonesia was hit by a major earthquake on Monday. It was Monday night while I was napping before I resume my marathon to finish my project presentation that the Lord impressed upon my heart that I need to pray. Following that, the next day, news of the quake came about. Similar urges from the Lord has happen during major world events like the 911 incident where I had dreams and felt that I need to pray after that. This time I felt it was an alert from the Lord to arise to my calling to pray.

Lord, I want to be found among those who have been found faithful to pray and to speak to the nations!

"I searched for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand in the gap before Me for the land, so that I would not destroy it; but I found no one." Ezekiel 22:30

Found!

2005-03-30T17:45:00.000+08:00

Hey... went for the interview at the design firm yesterday and I got the job!!! Really thank God for this open door. I laid before the Lord the choices between the job at the design firm and the current one at the events company and told Him that if He wants me to stay where I am, then close the door to the one at the design firm. I was quite amaze that the manager make the swift decision after talking to me and reviewing my portfolio cos I was told by Daniel that the selection was "stringent". That's besides the point.... I am glad that I got the job appointment. My office will be at CHINATOWN! What a wonderful place to have your office location! Most importantly, I won't have to face irregular work hours on weekends and a non-challenging working life. I will be starting work on Monday, the first week of April. Just see God's faithfulness and favour in my job hunt. All the criteria and time frame I set before Him has been met. God is good!

Work as usual today is BORING!!!!! I was playing games during working hours with Sham cos there was literally nothing to do. I am sick of this kind of working environment!

Chocolate Thrill

2005-03-29T22:00:00.000+08:00

another wosh production

Right Job?!

2005-03-29T12:37:00.000+08:00

Results seems accurate...

Strategic and Creative

As a Strategic type, you want to be able to express yourself and your ideas through work. Sure there's a time and place for rules and procedures, but when a good thought strikes you, you don't want it to be boxed into one way of thinking. You're willing to go outside the rules if there's a chance that the risk will reap big rewards.

You are stronger than most when it comes to generating ideas. And because of this, it might sometimes feel easier to take on all aspects of a job yourself instead of wasting time explaining it to someone else who might not "get it" like you do. But because you have so many ideas and are willing to take on so much, you might find that you sometimes have trouble finishing every project you start.

Your diplomacy and adaptability make you a valuable asset. But your need to feel invested in a company that allows you to express your original ways of thinking will ultimately impact how happy you are in the workplace.

Dreamer says...

2005-03-29T03:57:00.000+08:00

The Lord ministers His strength to me on sunday during evening service. He stirs the troubled waters within me that I was fearful to face. Couldn't explain how it was having to confront your "Goliath" alone.... seems to be an unquenchable thirst for emotional strength. Pastor prayed for me and the Lord used him to speak to me. While I felt that I am not good enough for Him, He assures me that He accepts me for who I am and that He sees the sincerity of the heart. People will watch my life as I walk with Him and He is raising me up. Like I mention about the quest for His approval, there was a yearning to be accepted by Him.

Really feel like a small girl... well, for that I mean the innocence of the young. No more the complications from voice of the world. Rather, it's a deliberate choice of simplicity over complexity. The thought of drawing near to the father's love warms one's heart. I'm learning to appreciate His love and grace more and treasures relationships more. As the Lord adds value to my life, there is a growing desire to do the same to others around me.

It's a new season of walk with Him. Discovering the true value of who I am, wat relationships meant, the meaning and purpose of His call. I've learnt this.... the true value and beauty of a woman lies in knowing wat pleases her maker and living it out!

Retro

2005-03-27T00:07:00.000+08:00

Another piece of work for graduation project....

Look!

2005-03-25T16:31:00.000+08:00

Some pieces of work for graduation project....

2005-03-25T16:29:00.000+08:00

Magazine cover

2005-03-25T16:28:00.000+08:00

Postcard for magazine launch

Boredom - Part 2

2005-03-25T11:15:00.000+08:00

I am in my office now.. blogging... Yesh... I am bored! But thank God I brought my book to read today. Sham is equally bored as I can see but he seems pretty fine with it. Actually I am quite tired cos I din really sleep the past two nights. I was preparing for my project presentation last night til 4 plus in the morning. Manage to finish one post card design which I am pretty satisfied with... Gotta send for printing once I am done with my other master pieces. Thinking if I should go for design courses to further enhance my skills in this aspect but plans to further my studies will be more concretise once I settled down in my first permenant job.

Just got another appointment with a design company for an interview. This time the designation is sales designer. Well.... the Lord knows wat I need and desire.... The bible says if we ask God for a fish, He would not give us snake and if we ask Him for bread, He would not give us stone. Seems that I am seeing God's favour upon my life throughout the whole process of job hunting. Besides boredom, I am doing pretty fine in my work so far... the amazing thing is that doors begin to open ever since I started work on Monday. Getting closer to the ideal job that I long for.... well... I've got to prepare my portfolio for both the interviews next week... and be very sure that I give my best go... The rest is in His hands!

It's Good Friday tomorrow. It's amazing how the Lord brough back someone whom I have not been in contact for a while. She called me up last sat, seemingly needing some help. I've yet to get hold of her and have a good talk with this sister. Pray that she will be able to make it for the easter rally.

Boredom

2005-03-23T17:51:00.000+08:00

Work was boring.. really boring. I was paid the past three days to sit around the office doing not much work. You know how frustrating it can be when you seem to be like a white elephant in the company.. Arrg... My colleague has to bear my nonsense and grumbling at the amount of work I was given. When I ask him wat can I do, his reply is always " just sit loh", "wait... your work load will increase". Haha... but I just can't stand it!!! I need something more challenging!!! Or maybe I am still adjusting to my work and gotta need more time. It will be a good exposure for me but whether it will be my rice bowl for the next two years, I seem pretty hesitant about it for it. My fingers are itching for classified ads!

I am looking forward to my interview at this design company next tuesday and I pray that I can get the job. I just spoke to the guy, Daniel, who arrange the interview for me. I was pretty bold enough to ask him my chance of getting the job. Well.. he din revealed much, just said that they are very stringent in their selection. Since I manage to convince them to meet me for an interview through my cover letter and design work that I emailed them, I shouldn't be that bad afterall. Though they are not hiring me as a graphics designer, they still require candidates to have a certain level of interest in this field and a creative flair. Who knows I may become a graphics designer somehowday :)

A plus point about this job is that it is at Chinatown. One reason being it is much more accessible for me than Ubi and another being I really loved Chinatown. If not for the food, it will be the rich heritage the place holds. It is near to the major shopping malls in Singapore!

Well the Lord has His best and He will make things beautiful in His time!

Complications

2005-03-23T08:37:00.000+08:00

Relationships is a marvellous things yet complicated in its own sense. It can bring strength and encouragement and it can bring pain and agony as well. Why can't people just handle relationships maturely? Talk things out should there be anything instead of keeping quiet... mindful of the other party... Probably it's fear, or you dun mean anything to that person or it's just a proven fact that man is self-centred. The fact that it disturbs me to some extent shows where the person stands in my heart... how much I desire to change the status quo of things to see things work better.... how can I be a strength? Wat went wrong? Seems that we lack understanding of each other. Another lesson of maturity to learn!

Started work

2005-03-22T00:06:00.000+08:00

I've started work today. Job designation: Events executive. Well, sounds kind of professional in one sense but executives are just a better way of addressing oneself. I've kind of wanting to work in the creative and communications industry ever since I started sending out resumes to my propective employers since the beginning of the month. My ideal is to work in a magazine firm, advertising firm and creative/design companies. I've tried . Some called me up for interview and others I suppose, thought I am better suited for other jobs. This job was offered to me about a week ago and I really took time to think through before I accepted it. Events was part of my interest but would I make it my career?

And guess wat?? On my first day of work today, a design company called me up for interview for a position that I wrote in last week. It's a business executive position that gives me opportunities to unleash my creative streak. That means... I won't give it a miss! I will go for it.

By the way, kaijun... I just can't get the taggy up to the desired position.... Not that I am a IT nerd but I really tried... Someone pls help!

The God of shuhui!

2005-03-17T01:04:00.000+08:00

Shuhui, be strong.... be bold and courageous in times of challenges and great adversities for the Lord your God is with you! He will be the God of Abraham, the God of Jacob and the God of Shuhui.

The palm of Your hands

Protects me from the sorching sun

The strength of Your arms

Carries me through

Your perfect love cast out all fears

Your assurance hold my world

Therefore I will not be shaken

I will stand, be still and know that

You are God!

Green days ahead, Jeremy

2005-03-09T23:06:00.000+08:00

This is our beloved east 2. I am blessed by the effort each one of you puts in to show your appreciation to Jeremy. Yes.. Jeremy will be going to the land of greenery this very friday. I really appreciate this brother who have been such a strength to me in the zone. I am blessed by his positivity and unduanted spirit. That's the spirit to keep up!

The quest for His approval

2005-03-06T18:23:00.000+08:00

A recent victory over a struggle reminds me of the mission trip to Philippines I went a few years ago. What challenges me most is not anything spiritual but the MOUNTAINS 2 philipines! It was like so tough having to hike through the mountain under the hot sun and with constant fear of whether you will make it alive. After each mountain conquest, you will feel such a sense of victory and achievement that you've made it somehow and the comfort that comes with knowing that God has been there. More than those, it is the approval you felt from God that you have made it through trusting in Him.

Recently I din't climb any physical mountain but I had a spiritual mountain to conquer. Somewhere last week, I just felt so defeated to go on. It's equivalent to climbing the mountain in philippines where it seems neverending and stretches you to the core of your bones. You can't give up cos you are already half way through but going on is going to be real tough. Either ways, you wonder if you can ever make it. Any way, when I finally conquer that mountain, I was brought back to the times in philippines where I felt great that i have made it through the challenge. God is reminding me of His faithfulness. I feel like a small girl, innocently happy over the fact that you daddy is pleased that you've done him something he can be proud of! the quest for God's approval...

True measure of a woman

2005-02-25T09:03:00.000+08:00

A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman--who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.

The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil.

She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.

She seeks out wool and flax and works with willing hands [to develop it].

She is like the merchant ships loaded with foodstuffs; she brings her household's food from a far [country].

She rises while it is yet night and gets [spiritual] food for her household and assigns her maids their tasks.

She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard. [S. of Sol. 8:12.]

She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm.

She tastes and sees that her gain from work [with and for God] is good; her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away fear, doubt, and distrust].

She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

She opens her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her filled hands to the needy [whether in body, mind, or spirit].

She fears not the snow for her family, for all her household are doubly clothed in scarlet.

She makes for herself coverlets, cushions, and rugs of tapestry. Her clothing is of linen, pure and fine, and of purple [such as that of which the clothing of the priests and the hallowed cloths of the temple were made].

Her husband is known in the [city's] gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.

She makes fine linen garments and leads others to buy them; she delivers to the merchants girdles [or sashes that free one up for service].

Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]!

She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction].

She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat.

Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her, [saying],

Many daughters have done virtuously, nobly, and well [with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness], but you excel them all.

Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised!

Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates [of the city]!

-Proverbs 31:10-31

Birthday thoughts...

2005-02-23T08:47:00.000+08:00

Another year, another season of life. I think it's a vast difference between kids and the slightly grown- ups celebrating birthdays. Kids are fanatic about the thrill of blowing candles and receiving gifts; the slightly grown-ups doesn't see all that as important as it once had been. What matters is the value of how you are going to live your life in order to add value to others and relationships around you. Yep, I'm not a kid anymore, neither am I a fully grown-up yet cos I am still in the transiting phrase into adulthood, that's why the term slightly grown up is used here... I have not lost the thrill of celebrating birthdays but just that the perspective of it changes. You would prefer to have meaningful time spent with people dearer to you or time spent alone peacefully enjoying every minute of this day that the Lord has made. Any slightly grown-ups out there agree with me?? haha...

kk... I did have a meaningful birthday this year and really appreciate all those who have made my day so lovely. Celebrated my birthday on Monday cos the actual day of my birthday coinsides with our cooperate leaders meeting. That's pretty fine... We went to Marche for dinner and thereafter to river ang bao. As I requested, the nite is full of pleasant surprises.... From the sudden appearance of people who told me that they couldn't make it last minte to the rides at river hong bao and certainly my birthday gift to end the day... I feel more funny than surprise when I unwrapped the gift... thanks to my best friends' idea lo... That's the last thing I would expect to have as a birthday gift.... haha... Anyway, thanks!

2005-02-23T08:45:00.000+08:00

sweet 22

2005-02-23T08:31:00.001+08:00

The ties that bind... ndrea and me.

2005-02-23T08:31:00.000+08:00

The ladies of the nite

2005-02-23T08:30:00.002+08:00

Friendship is a blessing from above

2005-02-23T08:30:00.001+08:00

My beloved ones...

2005-02-23T08:30:00.000+08:00

my prize...

2005-02-23T08:18:00.001+08:00

the guys

The guys and me. We're gonna conquer the metoerite soon....

2005-02-23T08:18:00.000+08:00

We are actually up there... but can't see us...

Waiting

2005-02-02T13:36:00.000+08:00

Hmm... feeling pretty bored now... I guess the bored syndrome is coming and I gotta find a way to cure it. Finally done with all my structured lessons, preparing for exams now (I am in the mist of it actually), and thereafter, my graduation project after chinese new year. I'm setting a quiet mode now to hear from God his next agenda in His plan for me. No, I am not as fearful as before. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom as said in the book of proverbs. My desire is to walk in His footsteps to find my stage, a place where I can perform to my highest potential.

I was at Trumpet Praise yesterday after my print media paper (it wasn't that tough afterall). I can't exactly remember wat song they were playing then but somehow it triggered my senses to consider the choices facing me. I was close to tears. Things seems very far off but I had to obey the holy spirit's tugging within me. I knew that God is teaching me to wait. The period of waiting is annoying. For all you know, I am a person who hates to wait in the physical sense. I would rather not have than to wait in long queues. I believe one of those virtues of a woman are patience and submissiveness. These are the by products of waiting. To develop character takes time. Was just reminded that the right attitude in waiting will bring strength as they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strenght!

Advance Reunion Dinner

2005-01-31T21:44:00.000+08:00

Sumptous??? That's not all.. Still have pizza and KFC to go with....Yep... I just had our advance reunion dinner yesterday with my mother's side aunties, uncles and cousins. It's pretty amusing to have such an early reunion dinner as new year's eve is like more than a week away. Well, my grandmother will be away in Malaysia during new year's eve, so that explains why. So new year's eve would be another one with my father's side extended relatives. Kind of enjoy the feeling of having the whole family gathering together. It's not so rare with my mother's extended family cos we are very close and would often meet but with my father's side, it will be like once a year or slightly more if there are special occasions.

We finally accomplished our mission yesterday... haha.. we had a family photo taken with everyone present finally! Too bad i can't show it here cos the photo is taken with my uncle's camera... Why I used the word "finally" is because we have been making arrangements for months to have a proper family photo taken but seemingly things just din work out... It's finally done.. and it's like so long ago since all the cousins had a picture taken together. I'll be having another baby cousin added to the family in May. I'll be so much older than him!!!!!

2005-01-31T21:22:00.000+08:00

My cousins, myself and brother with my grandmother

2005-01-31T21:20:00.000+08:00

My family

2005-01-31T21:18:00.000+08:00

Samantha and mingshun.. Guess wat? The aftermath of our reunion dinner is a game of monopoly. Had a good time with my two cousins and my aunties.... Hmm.. this time I wasn't the loser!

Lighthouse

2005-01-29T19:57:00.000+08:00

Nice? I think it's fantastic. This is one of the most meaningful gift I have ever received. It's a christmas gift from a dear sista of mine who actually remembers a vision I ever share with her before. hmm.. if you are reading this.. wanna tell ya again that i am really very touched by your thoughtfulness and the effort you put in to put this thing together...

The first month of the year is coming to an end, another 11 more months to go. Was just telling Shujun that I am looking forward to the end of the year but not 1 Jan 2006. Haha... Wat an irony rite? Well, it's just the contradictory side of me.

wat dreamer says!

2005-01-12T08:35:00.000+08:00

Tired. when will dreams become reality?
The path seems rockier;
The tunnel darker
Where fear and uncertainty grips
Where the reality of sin enfolds
Hide me, shield me
Longing to be enveloped in His love
Longing to find back the lost art
Where?

Get going

2005-01-10T09:11:00.000+08:00

Get going.

Forgetting wat lies behind

2005-01-01T21:35:00.000+08:00

One of the things that I have been truly blessed in year 2004 is my members. Over the past one year, I've truly grown to be rather attached to my members. I enjoy the times spent with some of them. God has used each of them in their unique ways to encourage me especially when I am down and out. Through the youth camp and the past one month, I've come to be so assured that I am valued by most of them... The little gestures of appreciation from them, the prayers that they smsed me and the thoughts from them really cheered me on. In some ways, i may have failed them, yet I am very blessed by the grace that they've shown towards me.

It's the grace of God that has led me through the ardous journey in 2004. It amazes me that the thought of giving up has never drove me to put a full stop in all that I had to face. It's not a bad year, though challenging.. haha.. it has create some impact in my life and changed certain perspectives. In the area of surrender, I've come to a place of learning to let go and yield to the sovereignty of God. Guess that is wat all those things that i've gotta walk through in 2004 has to teach me. I've learn to surrender pain to Him. It's painful to face pain and I've got to learn how to... In relationships, there is another changed perspective and I am learning initiative and doing away with passivity.

Think about 2005.... I'm pretty excited yet mixed with some fear element... I do not know wat to expect... well, I am looking forward to the end of the year with greater expectancy instead. Just want to know wat is all that He has prepared for me and His answer to my secret cry this year. I know that it will be a challenging year... The stars will be a constant reminder to me of His promises and i will lay hold on them.

Adrian's birthday

2004-12-20T14:13:00.000+08:00

That's Adrian's 22nd birthday.

Dreams

2004-12-09T17:08:00.000+08:00

Dreams are made out of a hope for tommorrow
They sustains you for that moment
But can't keep you there for long

Dreams need a driving force to make it happen
They need to be expressed, not compressed
Fulfilled desires brings joy to hearts

Dreams need to be carried by God to their destinations
They are too big for our minute minds
Too strong for our feeble knees

Dreams are God-given abilities to see the future
They are paintings to be completed by God and us
Our dreams in God creates master pieces so priceless!

Back from camp....

2004-12-09T00:48:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. just came back from camp last week... ya.. it's the annual youth camp. Guess it's just a bit different from the previous camps... I went with a heart to give, not so much as to receive. One of the things I find myself receiving much more is in the area of my members. Some of them just gave me surprises that I never thought it would come from them. This camp has drawn me closer to some of them and allow me to see them in a different perspective. Well.. I love them and really find joy in seeing them loving the Lord passionately and breaking through in their struggles. One of the testimonies I heard in cell group today was such an encouragement. There was this person in the cell group who has been having difficulty coming out of computer games. I have been trying to help this person for a while and guess wat, this person receive the baptism of the holy spirit during the camp and thereafter, has not felt the urge the play computer games! Ever since he came back from the camp, he has been doing his devotion faithfully. Our cell group also has an addition over the weekend. Serene joined us for oikos last sat and cell group just now... I think we all enjoyed the cell group just now...

2004-11-24T00:33:00.000+08:00

All of us @ coffee club after Allan and shona's wedding. Realise that we din actually take a shot together, so gotta make do with this!

2004-11-24T00:24:00.000+08:00

Ben and kaijun.... buddies....

2004-11-24T00:23:00.000+08:00

Hmm.... christy and me... Actually, i quite like this shot. I think it was quite well taken.

2004-11-24T00:19:00.000+08:00

shuj and Nick

Looks pretty cool... wat's shuj thinking and wat's Nick doing?

2004-11-24T00:18:00.000+08:00

The dancers for the wedding. "You are awesome in this place, Lord"

I'm giving my all to You

2004-11-23T23:28:00.000+08:00

A week long of struggle with wat my heart wills to do against wat my flesh desires... It's not by might nor by power but by the spirit of God! He is teaching me the power of surrender and the strength of humility. The greater the degree of humility the greater the strength to overcome. Once again, it's another art in our christian journey. The art of surrender...

My maiden dance at Allan and Shona's wedding last sat seems to give me a deeper insight in the beauty of God once again. Well, I was really nervous before the whole thing, thinking that I would end up messing up people's wedding... Somehow when i was standing before the congregation, I felt the peace of God and the attention to how man look at me just turn to how my God, my great romancer sees me. I remember just not long ago, He spoke to me about the stage that He has given to us all and that He is the only one we are to perform to and the only One who would give us all the attention we need. I really enjoy myself tremendously cos I felt that I was dancing for my great romancer, worshipping Him for who He really is. Throwing away all the excessive baggage and follow His dance steps.... I guess that is true freedom... to be able to be yourself before Him...

Lord... I'm giving my all to You to be who You want me to be. Craft me into Your likeness, grant me the courage to be the one I am made to be!

Tug of War

2004-11-11T09:35:00.000+08:00

Deep in my soul

There's a tug of war

I struggle to know what life is for

I try so hrad to stay in control

To hold back the tears

And to not let go

I dun know why

I hang on so long

When I know the question

You were asking me

Will you worship

Will you bow down

Will you give me your heart and everything

------

Lord, only You know the deepest struggles within. I need You more than anything else.... Going deep with You requires a greater degree of surrender. I need Your grace.... Guess I need to see things in a different light in order to enjoy more freedom cos no one who lives on this earth is free from pain and struggle. I can't say it's a struggle but I know God is doing a deep work in my life once again. I have always told the Lord that I want to love and to bring His love to people around me. I slowly begin to realise that love is not cheap. To love a person requires wholesomeness on our part. That's why the bible says that a wounded heart cannot reach God. Guess as a result of my prayer and desire, God has been healing me very deeply so that the well of His love will be full in my life that I can bring it to people. In the midst of the process, I may not have shown enough love to people as it can be draining to face your wounds. It zaps your strength to give love.

There was another breakthrough last friday during prayer meeting for me. Found back wat real passion means, get on with my prophetic intercessory gift, reaching out to the unreached.... It's real passion that is not contented with status quo but accompanying action. The Lord spoke to me about letting a shout of victory just like the Isrealites did after seven rounds of marching around Jericho wall. It's time to act!

It's not suppose to be this way!

2004-11-08T22:05:00.000+08:00

It's not suppose to be this way Lord!
There is more than freedom to dream
Freedom to love and be loved
Freedom to seek and to be found
More than a passion
Strength to put feet to the dreams You've given
Lord, You lead us through the seasons of life
Help us to be sensitive to your leading....

There is an appointed time for everything.

And there is a time for every event under heaven--

A time to give birth and a time to die;

A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.

A time to kill and a time to heal;

A time to tear down and a time to build up.

A time to weep and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn and a time to dance.

A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;

A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.

A time to search and a time to give up as lost;

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;

A time to be silent and a time to be silent and a time to speak.

A time to love and a time to hate;

A time for war and a time for peace.

What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils?

I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves.

Eccl 3:1-10

Frustration!

2004-11-04T23:37:00.000+08:00

Torn apart . unfulfilled goals . inadequacies . reasonings . feel like crying . impatience . pain . status quo . missed . longing to be found . high mountains impossible to climb . accepted and to accept. why like that? .

And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, For My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I would rather boast in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me. - 2 Cor 12:9

Christy's birthday

2004-11-02T01:33:00.000+08:00

The shots here are taken on the 30 Oct when we celebrated Christy's one and only 21st birthday. It's rather an unforgetable nite for Christy I guess and a moment in time where our friendship deepens a little bit more with all that... you know wat I mean Christy..... Really appreciate this friendship that the Lord has brought together with you and Shujun...

God brought friends together not to see through each other but to see each other through

Friendship

2004-11-01T01:52:00.000+08:00

Dreams...

2004-10-25T15:58:00.000+08:00

True satisfaction of dreams comes when you translate that mental picture into action...

I long for the freedom within me to do that.... Dreams remain dreams when there is no thought of action to fulfil it... It brings frustration and deep sense of disatisfaction. Creative expressions of my dreams through songs and dance, through the art of love and the joy of giving. Freedom to dream and to fulfil the dreams that He has laid on my heart.

Touched By Your Grace

2004-10-23T00:56:00.000+08:00

You took my unworthiness
You restore my brokenness
You gave hope to my shattered dreams
Brought meaning to every pain

You called me by my name
You gave my life a plan
That I might see each day I live
Counts b’cos of Your Grace

Chorus:
Lord Jesus, You are the treasure of my heart
My song and strength in my darkest night
Lord Jesus, You are the real joy giver
You dance with me, rejoice with me on the highest mountain
And I am forever amaze by You
Touched by Your Grace

When I look at the stars in the sky
The sun that rises from the east
It reminds me of Your promises
And Your faithfulness endures till the end

Dreams that You’ve laid on my heart
Songs that You gave me to sing
They are trails to remind me of
Your well of grace never runs dry

Repeat chorus

Bridge:
And I am amazed
Touched by Your grace
Be still my soul
And know that You are God.

The beauty of His Love

2004-10-23T00:25:00.000+08:00

He is my song in the darkest night, my dance partner on the high mountain. I am amaze by His love for me. The love of christ upon our lives is the most perfect picture of beauty one could ever paint. If we are seeking for what real beauty means, just ponder on the love of God.

The Lord brings this revelation of beauty to me today. Seriously, I have never look at the love of God as the perfect illustration of beauty. Many says that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder... however, I see it differently now.. The measuring rod of beauty is the love of Christ. The love of God is able to cast out all fear... the love of God empowers, the love of God brings acceptance.... the love of God covers a multitude of sins... The love of God is beauty... When one is touched by the power of His love, His love will beautify the person inside out!

It's really great to be in love with Him all over again... Our love relationship has matured over the past months of storms and uncertainty, fears and pain. Pain has taught me God's love.... I need to be beautify by His love continually cos it is every bride's desire to look the best before her groom.

The race

2004-10-20T13:56:00.000+08:00

Fom glory to glory... strength to strength.....

Art of Love

2004-10-20T02:05:00.000+08:00

Loving God equates to loving myself healtily and loving others passionately. I've made a discovery this morning that wat the Lord was doing in my life since the last weekend was actually an answer to my cry since the beginning of the year. I told the Lord that this year the thing I desire most is that I will learn to love Him, love myself and love others in a different way. Well... a whole bulk of the year has gone thinking that it should be on the list of my next new year resolution again... hmm...

Loving God means to be vulnerable to Him. When we come to the state of vulnerabilty, that is when the our heart is soft for Him to speak and to leave an eternal footprint. Eh... I am not so comfortable with this state of vulnerabilty after all.. It makes me very fearful of pain ... well that leads me to the next part - loving myself... The closeness and intimacy with God reveals much of my needs and my struggle with acceptance. Can I love myself enough to accept my need? Am I able to face my lack and inadequacies without dispising myself? That is art... acceptance is an art... it is from my point of view. I don't deny my struggles but I am not afraid to face them now... I need to move on... I need to be healed to move on... My latter journey won't allow me carry this baggage with me I suppose.... It a choice.... It's tough only if my flesh still fights for it's prominence. The power of surrender releases the strength...the strength to move on.... the strength to love others...

Lord, help me not to hold back this love You have showered upon my life... Let it flow to areas that are hurting in my heart so that out of my heart will release the ability to receive Love and to love others passionately....

A different path...

2004-10-18T23:30:00.000+08:00

It's tough having to learn to denial yourself, pick up the cross and follow Him. However, it is only tough and painful when our flesh is still alive, fighting for its prominence in this insignificance inhabitation. I need strength to go on... need courage to face myself... I am serious about it.. no more wilderness.. Why din I come to this place earlier? Well, the process of journeying to this place has taught me much. I remember as a young christian the Lord speak to me from the book of Isaiah that He is going to lead me in ways I have never known and paths I have never been before. I have a different path to travel on, a differnt pair of shoes to accompany the journey. The journey came to a point of great pain and struggle.. I am letting it go now. I choose to surrender so that pain will cease and strength revive.

Looking forward to the prize set before me... looking forward to the promises He gave... Trusting in His Love

Surrounded by the crowd of witnesses
Gone before us in the race already won
Challenged by their unduanted spirit,
Not looking back at the bridges already burnt
Your love is their strength
Your promises are their hope
With complete trust,
they continued on with full assurance of an eternal destiny
You are their song in the darkest night,
Their dance steps on the high mountain
Not forsaken by your gentle whispher when strayed
Not without Your comfort when hurt
Your unfailing love motivates a weary heart
Your strong arms supports a feeble knee
You are forever faithful....
I will trust!

With Love,
Your beloved

touched by His GRaCe

2004-10-16T23:15:00.000+08:00

touched by his grace

Change

2004-10-14T23:00:00.000+08:00

Erm... the thought of change would probably put some people off... It means doing things differently, responding to things in a different way, getting your butts off your comfort zone and all that you can whine about to procastinate change. Well, like i say.... it will put some people off.... however, there are others who views change in a different light. To move on to a higher profile means we need to do things differently and that is change. Changes precede growth.

It's time for some changes to see myself take on a higher platform. A different approach to my fears, a different response system... It's time....

Footprints

2004-10-12T22:41:00.000+08:00

Footprints in the sand

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticedthat it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, You said that once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one setof footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me." The Lord replied,"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I Carried You."

Depth

2004-10-12T20:59:00.000+08:00

"I think it takes a deep, spiritual encounter with the cross before we're really qualified to call ourselves missionaries." ~ Elizabeth Elliot

The toughest jounrney in life is the road to discipleship. A journey of self-denial and surrender. I know God is teaching me the art of completing this journey well, not merely starting it with zeal. It's tough... my interests conflict with His... Yet there is a cry within me to want to go deeper with Him.

FriEnDs aRe GiFts FrOm GOD!

2004-10-11T16:50:00.000+08:00

At different junctions in our lives, friends play different roles. In our younger days, friends are probably just playmates and somewone whom we can whine about the teachers that we don't like, the lessons we dread most and all that stuff that could trouble that small world of ours. Gradually, friends begin to play a bigger role than playmates. They are important catalyst in our pursuits in life... We share our dreams and passion... our plans in life.... They become the pillars in our lives, our support when we are too weak to go on, our watchmen to remind us when the day breaks and it's time to move on in life after a long night of pain and sorrow...

Friends are given to be cherished. I thank God for the friends He has given me. I am still learning how to be a good friend especially to the ones that are closest to my heart. Pray that God will bind this friendship with His unfailing love....

More of You, Lord

2004-10-08T10:14:00.000+08:00

Lord I surrender my will to You
Lead me in the way everlasting
Let there be more of You
Less of myself
More of Your love
Less of my self-pity
More of Your presence
Less of the desires of the world
More of Your mercy and grace
that I might give to others
Another glimpse of the cross
that I would see less pain
in the things I am learning to walk through
Help me to understand
Your will for my life

Loving You
Your beloved

The Dance

2004-09-28T00:21:00.000+08:00

It's an amazing experience with the great romancer of my life. My great romancer spoke to me bout the stage that He has set for me and He wants to be my only audience. He invites me to the stage to dance with Him and calligraph a dance together with Him. As I follow His dance steps and melody, I will be able to dance gracefully.

I felt it was a refreshed vision of His love for me... I guess my preoccupation with other "audiences" has tired me out and deprived me of enjoying His attention to me... I realise that there can be many "audiences" that we have to try to perform to in life... our career, ministry, friends, people that matters to us and the list goes on. Many times none of these audience are appreciative of wat we have done for them on the stage, leaving us discouraged and dejected. Yet, we seldom give up easily pursuing their praises and applauses. In contrast, our pursuit of our great romancer doesn't reflect that ardent perseverence so often. It leaves me wondering what lies beneath His love for me that He would be willing to keep waiting for me each time when I wondered away. Each time I fall back into His arms, I felt His love gripped me tighter, as if assuring me that no matter how many times I failed, His love and grace will increase with every fall.

All of us has a stage and are made for that one audience who is also the script writer and director. It is only when we perform for Him that we can find all the attention that we yearned for given to us exclusively.....

.....

2004-09-20T01:30:00.000+08:00

first blog... testing 1,2,3